愛唉唉三部曲

"我渴望能見你一面，但請你記得，我不會開口要求要見你。這不是因為驕傲，你知道我在你面前毫無驕傲可言，而是因為，唯有你也想見我的時候，我們見面才有意義。"

1950年西蒙.波娃

--
The Space That You’re In

You were so light when we met
Now you’re as grave as my deathbed
And though you speak like a fiend
You just sing like an angel

I’m not longing to hold
I’m not craving to touch you
I’m just blissful to be
In the same space that you’re in

I don’t know why my grace is leaving
I don’t know what your face is meaning
Often enough I bore your aching
Hoping to learn that you were faking
I don’t know why my grace is leaving
I don’t know what your face is meaning
Often enough you bore my sorrow
Hoping to catch a tear to borrow
So I’ll be heading for your rocks
And trying to melt down the hardness of your soul, of your soul
I was so light when we met
Now I’m as grave as your deathbed
And I will never be
In the same space that you’re in

Tried to take a picture Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much I want to fill this new frame
But its empty
Tried to write a letter In ink
Its been getting better
I think I got a piece of paper
But its empty Its empty

Maybe we're trying Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered If we
Should be getting under These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty
Maybe we're trying Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing Is beating our hearts
We're empty
Oh oh Oh oh Oooooh
Oh oh Oh oh

Maybe we're trying Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts We're empty
We're empty
We're empty
Or will we end up getting hurt
Is this love a myth
So tell me are you in for this
There's so much more than we can see
More than you
More than me
It takes two to believe!

Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why when you're young you fall in love
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love

I think you know
Because it's old news
The people you love
Are hard to find
So I think if I
Were in your shoes
I would be kind

I look out for you
Come rain, come shine
What good does it do?
I guess I'm a toy that is broken
I guess we're just older now

I want to stay
Another season
See summer upon
This sorry land
So don't dust off your gun
Without a reason
You understand
I look out for you
Come rain, come shine
What good does it do?
I guess I'm a toy that is broken
I guess we're just older now

Who says the river can't leave its waters?
Who says you walk in a line?
Who says the city change its borders?
Who says you're mine?

I look out for you
Come rain, come shine
What good does it do?
I guess I'm a record you're tired of
I guess we're just older now
I guess I'm a toy that is broken
I guess we're just older now

--
最近很愛看文章亂聽歌，這三首歌很妙也很耐人尋味，姑且稱這三首歌為愛唉唉三部曲好了。如果"愛"這個字眼可以簡單到像雨後看到彩虹就會不自覺的開心微笑那樣，很自然也很浪漫，即使彩虹慢慢消失了，內心也會裝的滿滿的，也會記得不久前的天空有那樣美麗的一個彎；如果"愛"這個字眼可以輕鬆到像跟小狗玩一樣，你只要逗牠，牠就會不厭其煩的陪你玩耍，又憨又忠實誠懇，簡單的陪伴牠就會死心塌地的跟著；如果"愛"這個字眼可以像聽到好音樂不自覺就哼哼唱唱那樣，即使曲不成調也無所謂，放鬆開心就好，無所謂的自信與自卑；如果"愛"這個字眼可以像還是小小孩的時候一樣，只要一點點鼓勵和動力就會有不顧一切向前衝的無限勇氣，即使跌倒了也會爬起來拍拍身上的沙子，只要一下下就會停止哭泣；如果"愛"...唉...

記得大學的時期，和班上幾個同學到山上出遊，回程坐車時大家突然討論起類似的話題，I小姐認真的說著："人一生一定要談一次轟轟烈烈的戀愛"，當時的到底有幾個人可以理解這個道理何在，已無從得知了。即使沒有轟轟烈烈，但如果"愛"沒伴隨著"唉"這個字出現，似乎過於平淡無奇，儘管很弔詭。癡癡笑笑的人生，天天哈哈笑過日子，雖然這樣沒什麼不好，但是就是少了某些觸動內心的深刻。Love can melt down the hardness of your soul, of your soul...

相愛容易相處難，Even if your were trying so hard, but it was empty. 習慣，總讓人沉緬在熟悉的汪洋，即使隨著浪，無方向地漂蕩，人都有被膩愛的渴望。無論是利刃相向所造成的傷口或兩人中間再也無法填補的空白格，不斷流出的血泊也只能任由著心臟壓迫舒張，直到靈魂乾涸，直到斑駁的靈魂在抽離的瞬間，直到發現自憐自艾的可悲，直到明白打轉的無意義，running in circles, coming in tails...

Who says the river can't leave its waters?
Who says you walk in a line?
Who says the city change its borders?
Who says you're mine?

No one should be a broken toy
No one should be...
No one should be...

從荊棘重生的枝芽才是最美的。