簡簡單單

我承認我是比較喜歡張阿懸拿著木吉他哼哼唱唱的模樣。
　

　

Song To Self

愛唉唉三部曲

"我渴望能見你一面，但請你記得，我不會開口要求要見你。這不是因為驕傲，你知道我在你面前毫無驕傲可言，而是因為，唯有你也想見我的時候，我們見面才有意義。"

1950年西蒙.波娃

--
The Space That You’re In

You were so light when we met
Now you’re as grave as my deathbed
And though you speak like a fiend
You just sing like an angel

I’m not longing to hold
I’m not craving to touch you
I’m just blissful to be
In the same space that you’re in

I don’t know why my grace is leaving
I don’t know what your face is meaning
Often enough I bore your aching
Hoping to learn that you were faking
I don’t know why my grace is leaving
I don’t know what your face is meaning
Often enough you bore my sorrow
Hoping to catch a tear to borrow
So I’ll be heading for your rocks
And trying to melt down the hardness of your soul, of your soul
I was so light when we met
Now I’m as grave as your deathbed
And I will never be
In the same space that you’re in

Tried to take a picture Of love
Didn't think I'd miss her
That much I want to fill this new frame
But its empty
Tried to write a letter In ink
Its been getting better
I think I got a piece of paper
But its empty Its empty

Maybe we're trying Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing Is beating our hearts
We're empty

And I've even wondered If we
Should be getting under These sheets
We could lie in this bed
But its empty
Its empty
Maybe we're trying Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing Is beating our hearts
We're empty
Oh oh Oh oh Oooooh
Oh oh Oh oh

Maybe we're trying Trying too hard
Maybe we're torn apart
Maybe the timing
Is beating our hearts We're empty
We're empty
We're empty
Or will we end up getting hurt
Is this love a myth
So tell me are you in for this
There's so much more than we can see
More than you
More than me
It takes two to believe!

Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
Maybe it's our first mistake
And baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why when you're young you fall in love
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love

I think you know
Because it's old news
The people you love
Are hard to find
So I think if I
Were in your shoes
I would be kind

I look out for you
Come rain, come shine
What good does it do?
I guess I'm a toy that is broken
I guess we're just older now

I want to stay
Another season
See summer upon
This sorry land
So don't dust off your gun
Without a reason
You understand
I look out for you
Come rain, come shine
What good does it do?
I guess I'm a toy that is broken
I guess we're just older now

Who says the river can't leave its waters?
Who says you walk in a line?
Who says the city change its borders?
Who says you're mine?

I look out for you
Come rain, come shine
What good does it do?
I guess I'm a record you're tired of
I guess we're just older now
I guess I'm a toy that is broken
I guess we're just older now

--
最近很愛看文章亂聽歌，這三首歌很妙也很耐人尋味，姑且稱這三首歌為愛唉唉三部曲好了。如果"愛"這個字眼可以簡單到像雨後看到彩虹就會不自覺的開心微笑那樣，很自然也很浪漫，即使彩虹慢慢消失了，內心也會裝的滿滿的，也會記得不久前的天空有那樣美麗的一個彎；如果"愛"這個字眼可以輕鬆到像跟小狗玩一樣，你只要逗牠，牠就會不厭其煩的陪你玩耍，又憨又忠實誠懇，簡單的陪伴牠就會死心塌地的跟著；如果"愛"這個字眼可以像聽到好音樂不自覺就哼哼唱唱那樣，即使曲不成調也無所謂，放鬆開心就好，無所謂的自信與自卑；如果"愛"這個字眼可以像還是小小孩的時候一樣，只要一點點鼓勵和動力就會有不顧一切向前衝的無限勇氣，即使跌倒了也會爬起來拍拍身上的沙子，只要一下下就會停止哭泣；如果"愛"...唉...

記得大學的時期，和班上幾個同學到山上出遊，回程坐車時大家突然討論起類似的話題，I小姐認真的說著："人一生一定要談一次轟轟烈烈的戀愛"，當時的到底有幾個人可以理解這個道理何在，已無從得知了。即使沒有轟轟烈烈，但如果"愛"沒伴隨著"唉"這個字出現，似乎過於平淡無奇，儘管很弔詭。癡癡笑笑的人生，天天哈哈笑過日子，雖然這樣沒什麼不好，但是就是少了某些觸動內心的深刻。Love can melt down the hardness of your soul, of your soul...

相愛容易相處難，Even if your were trying so hard, but it was empty. 習慣，總讓人沉緬在熟悉的汪洋，即使隨著浪，無方向地漂蕩，人都有被膩愛的渴望。無論是利刃相向所造成的傷口或兩人中間再也無法填補的空白格，不斷流出的血泊也只能任由著心臟壓迫舒張，直到靈魂乾涸，直到斑駁的靈魂在抽離的瞬間，直到發現自憐自艾的可悲，直到明白打轉的無意義，running in circles, coming in tails...

Who says the river can't leave its waters?
Who says you walk in a line?
Who says the city change its borders?
Who says you're mine?

No one should be a broken toy
No one should be...
No one should be...

從荊棘重生的枝芽才是最美的。

Dinner depends on the tooth

出生以來吃飯就像呼吸一樣容易，從來沒想過吃飯會變成一件很困難的事!!!

今天的晚餐是五天來最好吃的一餐，親愛的牙齒們終於可以發揮功用好好的磨碎食物了，簡單的青醬義大利麵就可以輕易滿足了挨餓五天的胃，實在是太美味了，阿門。為此要特此寫下，以滋紀念。

以下是整件事情的緣由...
自從上週四夜晚躺在牙醫診所的隔離室的診療台上切了很深的一刀拔掉躺著長的智齒後，所有的飲食突然變回嬰兒時期的模樣，多麼遙遠的習慣突然在二十幾年後的現在又再度回來。由於臉部過於腫脹，上下牙齒無法正常咬合，五天來只能靠湯湯水水渡過每一餐，跟我一歲的表弟一樣三個小時就得喝東西，唯一不同的是我不會隨便靠么找媽媽喝奶。最近試了一些嬰兒食品－各式各樣的水果泥，亂試了一堆後發現芭樂＋蘋果打成的泥其實還不錯吃，哪天誰的牙齒想罷工的時候應該是個不錯的選擇。拔掉躺著長的智齒後，半張臉總是在我的睡夢中逐漸壯大，即使乖乖冰敷也仍會繼續無限制的成長，每每在睡醒之後臉上都有神奇的小山出現，除了那位很沒愛心又一直笑我的B小姐以外，其它看過的人都嘖嘖稱奇，然後都會補上一句：好可憐喔。其實也沒這麼糟糕啦，半張臉腫起來也是有一絲絲的好處，當我照起鏡子的時候都可以很難得的覺得臉的另一半好瘦，莫名奇妙就滿足了自戀的慾望。最近兩天很認真運動，血液循環很爭氣的加速了起來啦，臉部的腫脹也開始消退，但取而代之的是越來越大片的黑青，在實驗室裡走動時都會有很多人關心的問候我，即使我跟他們說我被流氓揍的應該也不會有人懷疑XD....

偶爾變成奇珍異獸也是挺有趣的。

Running in circles

　
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

慶生。復古時間

搭拉，復古時間到嚕。

阿len的慶生會就跟她本人一樣充滿熱鬧的氣息，這次除了我們這群打球咖外，還有一些很久不見的107同學，大家一起吃飯的時候不斷地討論到高中時期的阿len到底長什麼模樣，但沒圖沒真相，回憶起來這六年來她大概變了一個人似的XD

等我的老梗一出現便真相大白了XDD
大家硬是要在場的兩位照片主角來個經典重現，硬要約定好六年後還要再來一次。

這就是六年後大家變成熟女的時候會說的：這是六前年的模樣耶！噗哈。

再來。相聚一刻

有一種朋友，就是偶爾見個面，也不須要一直問最近過的怎樣，就會知道對方一直都過的很好，雖然已經不是八年前的那副天真爛漫的模樣，但現在仍保有一些些曾經的那些簡簡單單的影子。偶爾相聚，其實很不賴，妳們還是妳們啊。

來來來...回憶一下吧!　

衝啊~~海綿寶寶

這是上禮拜去員工旅遊時被隔壁lab的俊維拍下來的畫面，莫名的喜歡這張相片。

　

一直以來帶我做實驗的文慈就快離開實驗室了，老闆命令我盡快把她的十八般武藝在這短短的時間內全部學起來，其實壓力很大。最近努力變身為海綿寶寶，瘋狂的學做新的實驗，又加上原本的工作，只好同時間進行很多事，在實驗室瘋狂的走來走去，身邊又放了一堆timer，好幾個timer同時逼逼逼逼叫的時候，整個人大概只能用躁鬱症發作的來形容。平時所依賴的人事物就快消失了，恐慌和迷惘這兩種負面的感覺也隨之出現，但別無選擇，我不得不去抗拒這些亂七八糟的負面情緒，把軟弱的自己遠遠拋棄，硬逼著自己快快獨立和長大。衝啊~~海綿寶寶!!!